When You Think of Mother…

Years ago, when I was about seven or eight, my mom forced my brother to eat liver and onions. He didn’t care for that particular dish, but my mom wouldn’t allow him to leave the table until he’d finished his plate. Liver and onions had not been on my mom’s menu that night. In fact, she had made one of the five meals my mom made well: homemade macaroni and cheese. However, my brother Lance, who was an exceptionally challenging child, refused to eat her macaroni and cheese, proclaiming, “I would rather eat liver and onions!”

Let me further detail the situation. My mom made and still makes fantastic, ooey, gooey, baked-with-a-crisp-on-top macaroni and cheese. It’s always been her specialty, and she perfects the dish every time she lays it out to be eaten. My brother loves macaroni and cheese. In fact, it’s one of the only things he would eat as a child. He was extremely picky; his food consumption consisted of pancakes, macaroni and cheese, and cereal.

But before you think, “at least he ate macaroni and cheese,” let me say he only ate the store-bought, boxed, pre-packaged macaroni and cheese. Yep. The yellowish-orange powdered cheese stuff from the package was what won him over to the boxed side. Because of this obsession, one would think he’d relish my mom’s number one meal and lick his plate clean in satisfaction. This was so not the case.

As I have previously mentioned, Lance was challenging. His behaviors were challenging, and often his demeanor and words drove my mom to madness. So on this day years ago when he flat out refused to eat my mom’s prized dish, he set up my mom for an epic dinner come back. By voicing a longing for liver and onions, he gave way to my mom’s victory. If you’re not familiar with liver and onions, don’t fret. You’re not missing much, in my opinion. I am from the country where the town’s local diner still served liver and onions as one of their Friday night specialties up until its closing. Nicely put, I believe it to be a dish more enjoyed years ago by a different generation. It’s open to interpretation, and if you’re a liver-and-onions-lover, please message me. I obviously need your recipe!

You Want it, You Got it

Once Lance uttered those famous words, my mom’s response was as priceless as mom retorts get: “You want it, you got it!” She said, with a tinge of evil laughter (I may be exaggerating, but let’s go with it). As she stormed out the door, we were instructed to stay at the table until her return. At her reentry, no one dared look her in the eye. She waltzed to the table with a look of triumph and victory, for in her hands held a steaming, Styrofoam to-go box of, you guessed it, liver and onions. For maybe the only time in my childhood, my brother’s face held a mixed look of confusion and fear, as opposed to his typical look of arrogance and glee.

For the next hour, we were held captive as witnesses to the progression of forced dinner. The night echoed Lance’s sobs and claims of, “I’ll eat your macaroni and cheese, I promise!” Alas, my mom’s mandatory intake of the meal caused him to change his tune quicker than the to-go box was opened. As a result? I think he ate her macaroni and cheese every single time from there on forward. No fighting, no harsh words, no begrudging bites.

I’m sure you’re wondering if he eats it today. I am thrilled to report he does in fact, gladly consume her macaroni and cheese. Over the years, he became a better eater, and from being in the military, learned the hard way to eat whatever came his way. His attitude and palette changed about most foods; my mom’s recipe has not.

For holidays and special occasions, she still prepares it the way she did years ago: adding a couple beaten eggs to the cheese before baking, and slightly overcooking the macaroni so its softness makes a way for the cheese to be absorbed. The best part? It’s complimented with a crusty cheese top, baked to a crisp from it’s leisurely stay in the oven. Her dish is heartily gobbled by everyone, and in the past left me with the yearning to create my own version.

The Recreation

Yes, my mother inspired me to create my own version of macaroni and cheese. Why would I “fix it if it isn’t broke”, you ask? Although I love her macaroni and cheese, I wanted to give it a go for the sake of wonder and creating. I see redoing a recipe as a challenge, so to speak. In all honestly, I don’t even remember when I first attempted the macaroni and cheese makeover. Given the history, you would think it would be a fond memory. It’s not. Maybe it was about ten years ago, possibly longer? What I do know is I perfected it when working as the Lunch Lady (check out my About Me blog posts for more on this subject).

My version was served at the school where I was the Lunch Lady, and has been served at family gatherings and holidays over the years. By her reaction, I don’t think my mom enjoys it as much as hers, and I don’t hold it against her one bit. Everyone has their vibe, and their style of food enjoyment. She prefers hers with more of a casserole vibe. Hers only contains actual macaroni, whereas mine has been made with whatever pasta I have on hand, like penne or spirals. The cheese sauce I use is made ahead of the pasta, and my mom throws the cheese, milk, and butter in with the pasta right before the oven. It’s all essentially the same ingredients, but like many recipes and dishes, prepared differently, and therefore producing a different texture, and slightly different taste.

Desiring to try it differently, I started experimenting with the cheese sauce. This idea came to me at the thought of boxed macaroni and cheese (a tribute to my brother’s first mac and cheese love, perhaps?) Why do people love boxed mac and cheese? It’s ease? It’s flavor? My inner child thought of Velveeta Shells and Cheese, and how to me as a kid it was the chef’s kiss of fancy mac and cheese in a box.

Even though it’s most likely only partially real, the cheese sauce is so rich and creamy. Rich and creamy was what I was aiming for when working with the ingredients. Butter and flour help create the appropriate consistency, a paste-like substance, which formulates the beginning of the sauce. Followed by alternating cheese and milk, the sauce thickens, reaching the rich and creamy dreaminess.

The Variations

Other than the original idea of macaroni and cheese, I’ve developed variations over the years. Instead of it being simply a side, I’ve served it as the main course, adding bacon and chopped chives to the top. Adding a protein, like bacon or grilled/pulled chicken, adds to the texture and makes it even more of a filling dinner. The kids love peas, so we’ve made peas a lovely addition in flavor, texture and color. I’ve never done it, but hard cheeses could be a topping, like bleu cheese or feta.

With the sauce, my favorite cheese to use is sharp cheddar, but I’ve also used many blends, and odds and ends of whatever cheese I have on hand. Swiss, havarti, and muenster add a zip and bite unlike that of cheddar. I have found that the higher quality the cheese, the better tasting the sauce.

A couple things to note: time and taste. This dish does require more time than my average recipe. As stated above in the photo caption, the sauce is a labor of love. There’s no rushing it, or letting it sit unattended. Burnt isn’t the flavor we’re going for with this recipe, and cheese can teeter on the edge of burnt easily. After the sauce is created, and the pasta boiled, it needs adequate time in the oven. This time will allow all of the ingredients to meld and mesh. The longer it’s cooked, the more it does so.

Let’s talk taste. If you want the best taste possible, this is a dish best left to real dairy cheese and butter, and regular flour and pasta. I have used gluten and dairy free options before, and the results have been acceptable. But truth be told, we’re not going for acceptable with this macaroni and cheese! Why not aim for one of those dishes that cause people to close their eyes while smiling and savoring? As a cook and creator in the kitchen, there’s no higher compliment than that reaction.

Like written above, using a high-quality cheese, butter, and even full fat whole milk will make a world of difference. Not using quality ingredients has been done by me, and can be done. I am a fan of using whatever you have available. But to be done well, plan ahead and shop accordingly for this one, agree?

The Recipe

Ashlee’s Classic Macaroni and Cheese

Can be made ahead of time, and baked on day of eating.

Prep time: 20 minutes

Cook time: 30 minutes

Items needed: large stovetop pot for boiling water for pasta, medium-large stovetop pot for cooking cheese sauce, 9 x 11 baking dish, whisk for stirring cheese sauce, spatula

Ingredients:

• Uncooked pasta, enough for the amount your serving (about ½ cup per person is traditional; check serving size on box/bag of pasta)
• 2 cups shredded cheese (I personally use a blend of sharp and mild cheddar, but many kinds can work; what I’ve found to work best is cheddar), plus another ¼-1/2 cup for topping
• 2 cups milk (whole dairy milk works best)
• 2 tbsp butter
• 2 tbsp flour
• Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Put on water to boil and prepare pasta to cook according to package. Preheat oven to 400 degrees and grease a baking dish. To start cheese sauce: have all ingredients ready to go, as the sauce is delicate and should not burn/stick to bottom of pan. Heat other stovetop pan to low-medium heat and add the butter. Allow butter to cook down, but do not allow to bubble too much or brown.

Once butter is mostly melted, add the flour and use whisk to mix. The butter/flour mixture should be thick and paste-like, but do not let it get crumbly or dry. After the butter and flour are combined thoroughly, add a small amount of the milk and continue whisking. Upon thickening, continue to add milk a little at a time, but do not use all of the milk yet. Add cheese in a little at a time, alternating with the milk.

Continue whisking/stirring to keep from burning. Note: adding too much milk or cheese at once will take longer to melt and become sauce like, so a little at a time is best. Alternate until milk and cheese are used. If too thick, add more milk; if too thin, add more cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste. Sauce should be creamy and thick, yet not too thick.

After the pasta is cooked, drain and dump into baking dish. Add cheese sauce to pasta a little at a time, stirring in and thoroughly coating the pasta. The pasta to cheese sauce ratio should be about 60% pasta and 40% sauce. Once combined well, sprinkle the ¼-1/2 cup cheese atop the dish of mac and cheese. Cover with foil and bake for 10 minutes. Remove foil after 10 minutes and cook remaining 10 minutes.

NOTE: this can be dressed up or added to. You can give the mac and cheese a flavor/theme by adding things, such as different veggies and meats. You can top with sauces like hot sauces, or other cheeses. There are no real wrong ways to enjoy this dish!

When I Think of My Mother

When I think of my mother, one of my strongest memories is when my brother refused that macaroni and cheese. What followed his refusal is one of my most cherished, funny, pivotal mom moments from my mother. I absolutely adore my mom for standing her ground with the liver and onions. For taking what was a stressful parenting moment and turning it into a teachable moment, allowing it to have an everlasting impact on me. Her drawn battle line included food and patience, two things we all need and love, right?

What do you think of when you think of mother? Does a wonderous meal, or silly sibling memory spring to mind? Do you think of her in a wistful manner? Perhaps Mother’s Day is not a fabulous celebration with a fantastic meal. The glory and blessing of having a caring mother in the first place is not lost on me. My mother definitely isn’t perfect, and I do carry baggage from my childhood. But I choose to see the positive and remember the things she taught me.

It’s possible you’re a person who attributes pain, frustration, abandonment, and hurt with Mother’s Day. And for that, I am sincerely sorry. If I could, I’d give you a hug and make you some macaroni and cheese. We could sit and eat it together, savoring each bite, and hopefully smiling over the simplicity of a well-made, delicious dish.

Please make this macaroni and cheese for someone! Pass on the love, and get creative with it. You never know who will end up loving it. And I’ll bet no one will tell you they’d rather eat live and onions than this macaroni and cheese!